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Sometimes I feel like I'm in a dream. A good one. Every time I think it's too good to be true it gets better.

That said. I can't sleep. I get about 5 hours a night. This is no good.

BUT; I think I finally know what being happy can truly mean.

-Jesse

Do I have a green thumb?

After Thursday I will be on vacation for ten days. I plan to use this time to get my lawn and planters in order. All the irrigation has been repaired and the hardscape is ready. I plan on having a vegetable garden in the back. We'll see how long that lasts.

I'll try to keep you posted. Maybe even pictures.

I keep telling myself 1925 is worth it.

My house is 84 years old. It's built on a raised foundation. Most of the house site about I one and a half feet off the ground. In the back of the house there is an access point. It's a square piece of lattus held together with small pieces of 2x4s. It's old and broken.

The reason I'm boring you with these uninteresting details is this: something crawled under my house and died. OR, a skunk went under my house and sprayed. OR, some other horrible horrible thing happened down there. I can't be sure what it is. All I know is my house smells like death.

Who let me buy a house anyway?

Hi.

I don't know how to be happy.

YEStoday, TODAY, and TOOtoday

I don't live in the past anymore. I don't live in the future anymore. I live now.

I'm happy now.

Who cares if its only now... It is what it is what... it... is....what... it... is.

I'm A Monster

...Everything I want...

My name is Forrest Forrets Gump

I always get the feeling that I the world treats me different. The world is keeping things from me for either my protection or because they think I wouldn't understand. Only the reason isn't because I'm simple. It's because I'm sensitive? Fuck if I know.

In other news the house is coming along nicely. With small things it's becoming my home. This is a good thing because I think I'm going to spend the rest of my life there.

I was thinking the other day how I always seem to get what I want but only because it falls into my lap; The house, The car, This laptop, The job, My mom coming back to California, My brother coming back to California... good credit? Everything but the one thing I want.

I hate having a cold bed. I hate the lack of superfluous knickknacks on my shelves and goofy pictures on the walls.

When will I meet her? Who is she? And why or how do I already love her?